Pretty much since Christmas my body has decided it’s allergic to everything. I’ve had anaphylaxis three times- to 3 different things. The most recent was nuts (did you know a twix is made with hazelnuts and almonds!? – nope me either!).
Over the last year or more my immune system has been hit with potent drugs, suppressed for months and still been expected to fight sepsis and other infections and now it’s just not very happy because of this I’ve added epi pens to growing list of meds .
All of this means I’m back to trying to find medication I can tolerate, give it time to work and not have a flare of disease. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t frustrating. I’ve developed a fear of being admitted back into hospital every time I see the doctor my opening is “before we start I’m not going into hospital” – outpatient appointments I can do but the thought of another admission sends fear and will likely make me burst into tears! I’ve spent around 100 days there in the last year and I’m so determined to stay out.
No matter how tough life is, you have to just keep getting up every morning, you have to just get through each day. There’s no real option is there? I like to think I’m pretty tough. My surgery just 12 weeks ago was huge and looking back makes me realise just how tough it was. But I survived.
Survival is our basic instinct to get through crappy times, it’s our fighting spirit, our adrenaline filled desire to live another day.
When faced with a constant string of complications it can be difficult to see the positives, you cling on to the normality of work and friendships and hope more than ever that things will get better. However when it all seems so overwhelming sometimes it’s just about remembering to turn on the light.